The following text message conversation occurs between 1:52pm and 3:42pm CST on Wednesday, June 3, 2009, noted specifically because it was a defining time in my photographic life. Plus, I will need proof when Mateo later complains about why all his other friends get an allowance and he doesn’t. And I’ll tell him it’s because he still has to pay this back before seeing a dime and if you keep complaining I’m going to add in the IUIs and IVF, too.


Nanny: “Plz tell me that the lens 4rm 1 of ur cameras was already broken.”

Me: “Nope. They were on the island, what happnd?”

Nanny: “I took harper 2 the changin table b4 her nap. I left mateo playin w the snail by the dining table. Then i heard this noise when i was changn H’s diper which i thought was Mateo carrin the snail. When it was M turn 4 a diper change i found him hidin n the diningroom corner w the camera. I was lk, O no M ur startin 2 b a hand ful.”

Me: “Is it the longer lens, or the shorter lens?”

Nanny: “I don’t know. I am sorry bout ur camera. I didn’t even c straps hangin down at any time otherwise i would placed them more inward. Its 1 the camera w/o the flash kit.”

Me: “OK, that’s the longer lens. And its 4 sure broke, lik u could see/touch all the way thru with a Q-tip?”

Nanny: “The last outer lens is crackd. Not all the way thru.”

Me: “Fukn prob good news then. Might only be the UV filter lens which is waaaaaaaaay less expensive. But i will check tonite.”

Nanny: “I hope so. I think that’s what it says, filter.”

Me: “Tell him he’s grounded.”

Nanny: “LOL i will tell him as soon as he wakes up 4rm his nap.”

Both the Hoya UV Filter and the Nikkor 18-135mm lens (shattered aperture blades) destroyed. I am now shooting primarily with a AF-S DX Zoom-NIKKOR 17-55mm f/2.8G IF-ED which I purchased here.