He used to sleep through the night.

But it’s been so long, the nights such a blur, that I’m not even sure when the last full night’s sleep was.

It has usually taken a few days, after being sick, for him to fall back into his sleep-through-the-night routine (defined as 7:30 p.m. to 5:00 a.m. ish). But after the Thanksgiving Week DIARRHEATHON, he has taken to waking 1 to 3 times per night, and he will only be calmed by a bottle. A habit we had no small part in creating since we HAD to keep him hydrated so as to avoid hospitalization, which meant giving him a bottle every couple hours, 24-hours a day, for a couple of days. Call us enablers.

Let me break it down: He is not undernourished. Might I remind you that he weighs nearly 21 pounds. He is getting plenty during the day – upwards of 35-40 ounces, including the 12 ounces at bedtime that he demands. And this is in ADDITION to the three meals a day that he’s getting. He is not sick (thank you, Jesus!). He is not too cold or too hot. He is getting solid naps during the day. He does not respond to shhhhhhh-ibng, nor pats on the back, nor tender loving whispers. If anything, anything less than a bottle escalates his cries. Yes, we have let him see if he can put himself back to sleep. But the thing is, he’s not ever truly awake; at least not until the times that he’s waking between 4:00 a.m. and 5:00 a.m., but the wakings between 10 p.m. and 3:00 a.m., he’s not really awake and won’t even open his eyes. Yes, we’ve tried making sure his diaper is dry and have changed it when it’s not. Yes, we have white noise. No, nothing in his routine has changed. I’m telling you, it is JUST A HABIT.


So I made the mistake of telling my mother that we were considering moving H to the guest room to sleep in the pack-n-play, while we left M in the nursery in his crib (the less variables we change, the better) and POSSIBLY did the forbidden and controversial Cry-It-Out-Method. And listen, internet, don’t even go off on me for the CIO method since I’m drafting a post (albeit only in my head right now) about ALL KINDS OF CONTROVERSIAL PARENTING ISSUES that we’ve either breached or embraced and you can blast off your opinions on that one. Get in line and wait your turn.

So, here you have a recorded message from my mom – a message she left on my cell phone voicemail yesterday afternoon – as a warning to her first grandson. This is proof that grandparents will work against you. (Nice touch with the still photo of M, right?)

I didn’t check my voicemail until this morning on my way to work and I laughed so hard when I did. Yes, I’m evil. And exhausted. ‘Tis the season.