We have a nanny lined up beginning June 1 to help transition us/me to going back to work.  She’ll be with us until the RJBs start day care in mid-July or August.  We’re considering hiring professional live-out help for that time between when-they-come-home and June 1  – for two reasons. 

First is the caretaker/teacher role to help us manage the twins and to work WITH US in developing methods that work for the four of us. 

Second is for consistency and for the Mediator role, our go-to person.  Because though we’ll have some help from family, it will be spotty (and really, that is completely OK).  A professional, though, even a part-time professional, will be more consistent over a longer duration.  This person will provide consistency in training (us) and care (the RJBs) that would be lost in translation with various family members helping.  And quite frankly, the thought of having any family member stay with us for longer than a week makes my throat close tightly and my ears get really hot, like I want to run to an open field and breath some air IN AN OPEN SPACE.  Which shouldn’t be confused with being ungrateful.  Because I LOVE our families.  It’s just that my boundaries and space are VERY VERY IMPORTANT and critical to my survival and existence.  And my survival and existence is very very important for the RJBs.  Heck, the idea of a confining hospital stay is enough to make my heart rate go up and my face flush.

Which reminds me.  Experts on pregnancy and twin pregnancy and parenting are EVERYWHERE.  And if you doubt it, just get pregnant with twins and wait like five minutes and then take a deep breath like the one before you take that first drop on a roller-coaster because THEY WILL FIND YOU. 

And though I have taken this unsolicited barrage as an opportunity to see the best in what they have to share and maybe adjust it for our own experience, some people really should just shut the fuck up keep their opinions to themselves.  Like last Friday, at a place I hope not to have to go to for at least another eight years, SO HELP ME GOD, the mother of a friend of our birthday niece came up to me and started giving me warnings, including “Don’t pump your own gasoline.  There are toxins.  And your kids could have deformities.”  Thank you very little, biotch, since I am more than three-quarters through gestation!  But I digress. 

So as we begin our research and interview process, a co-worker sent me this video and it gave me pause.  The biggest one being: would Dependent Care FSA apply to the purchase of a monkey babysitter