So last Wednesday night, a friend came over for dinner.  The Beloved had picked up take-out and as we sat down to eat, we talked about all kinds of things, catching up kinda things in general.  And then, I think, because she’s singular in relationship, the question came up if she was seeing anyone.  

As the logical progression of conversation would have it, I asked:”If We Had To Put Ourselves In A Box, What Makes One Straight or Bi-Sexual or Gay?”

In conclusion, I think We Love Who We Love.  But as for how the conversation went…

I mean, for me, I was straight for about the first 20 years of my life.  Although I had boyfriends, for me, there came a point in the relationship that something was “missing”.  I wouldn’t consider myself closeted during that time because that “missing” could have simply been that I was no longer interested in the guy.  Or that I was really tired of pretending to love Grateful Dead music, or because I was interested in going to graduate school instead of maintaining a relationship, or because the geographic distance led the guy to seek recreation elsewhere, or because I wanted a career and not to move to the mid-continent and get married.  Anyway, it seems “closeted” is for when you are aware you are one thing and hiding it from others.  

By the time I was 22-ish, I was dating both a man and a woman.  One lived out of town, one didn’t.  Neither was an exclusive relationship.  I was sleeping with both.  Did that make me bi-sexual?  Or was that a gay transition?  Or was I a straight woman experimenting?  Really, it could have been any of those depending on the eyes who were observing.  

During this period, I was definitely closeted.  Closeted straight to the gay world and closeted gay to the straight world.  Did that make me, at that time, a closeted bi-sexual?  

Our friend said she connected more emotionally with women.  But many would say that, be they gay or straight or bi-sexual?  

So maybe the box’s corners are defined by physical attraction.  But I know plenty of gay women who think that Tom Brady and Brad Pitt are effin HOT.  

Maybe it’s about sex.  But I know of at least one woman who has slept with another woman (and her husband at the same time), and she would say she’s completely straight.  

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we love who we love and there is no box, just the ebb and flow of Love – I said so myself in conclusion at the beginning of this and all that.  

But if there WERE boxes, how would you define them?   

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