Some of you may have watched the premiere of that show on Sunday evening.  We almost didn’t.  Because Comshit Cable wanted $20/month for the channel addition.  And because $20 can buy me two of these and quite frankly the integrity and comfort of my nipples is far more important to me than coming the closest thing to feeling hatred by can’t-standing that Jenny character.  Or because for the cost of seeing the season out, we could get one of these, and HELLO?? And I know this is a tough one, but who is cuter?  Marlee Matlin or two newborns? 

You might remember that scene on Sunday where the two mommies are interviewing for a development center position for their little girl.  I thought the scene, with their ass-kissing and over-the-top preparations, and the wearing of their best duds, and then the scene where they run into the two dads with their son outside was hilarious.  Hilariously unrealistic in my world.  Like that ever happens, right? 

Well, it’s the most realistic thing on the show that I’ve witnessed.  Because let me tell you what happened yesterday.

Yesterday, I posted a message to my area Mother’s of Multiples group regarding recommendations for area infant daycare and for referrals for good nannies. 

I called on two centers which were recommended thusfar.  The telephone conversation with one of them went like this:

“Hi, I’m only 23 weeks along…” I said with my chest puffed out because LOOK AT ME how on the ball I am! “…but I’m calling to inquire about your infant program.  I’m expecting in April/May” I say, as I wait for the Admissions Director, for real, to be so impressed and give me two spots right then and there as a reward.

“OK.  When are you looking to enroll your child?  Summer or Fall?”

This is easy, I think to myself… “Well, I was looking for June/July, so I guess the Summer.”

“Oh,” she says with a giggle “that’s the wrong answer.  We pretty much don’t have any space for the summer, but you could come to the registration day in February and try and enroll for the fall term, which begins in late August.  And we can put you on the waitlist for the summer then.”

“I notice you said ‘try’.  How does registration day work?” I ask, between pumps of desperately trying to reinflate myself. 

“Well, you just come that day and sign up.  But the earlier the better, to increase your chances of getting on the list.”

“Oh, so it’s like trying to get that really good HDTV sale at B*st Buy the day after Thanksgiving?” I say, because that’s how I used to think before I was pregnant. Ok, well, maybe I still do.

“I guess so, yes” she says, as I’m sure she was trying to remember my name so that she could go ahead and blacklist me for comparing infants to technological toys. 

“Oh.  And I’m expecting twins.”

“Mmmm.  You might get wait-listed for the fall, too, because it’s really hard to get two spots, but at least come and give it a shot. And come for a tour soon, we think you’d love it!”

Suddenly, getting to 24 weeks viability (and then 28 weeks, and then 32 weeks and then 36 weeks) is joined by child care as my biggest stressors.  

Here we are scheduling tours of schools –  so that we can be wait-listed.  And it’s not even for college.  Yet.  Which, by my calculations would cost nearly 1,600 seasons of that show.  So maybe paying for this season isn’t so unreasonable after all. 

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