I’ve regurgitated this post from one I wrote over at HDYDI.com. Because I can.
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As mid-August approaches, I join a few million other people in my city as we brace ourselves for the onslaught of School Traffic. In the meantime, I’ve noticed an uptick of posts in both my neighborhood parents and my Mothers of Multiples group forums related to school issues and childcare. And I guess it’s because I have kids now that back-to-school has me thinking about more than just highway congestion and school zones, but also about developing our parenting/education philosophies and future intentions.
And though what I’m about to say surely is full of sweeping generalizations and un-unstudied opinion on education systems, I feel that public schools have become all about teaching-to-the-test with a visible reduction or elimination in subject matter such as physical education, art, and music. Do I think any and all public schools are horrible? No. But I do think that public schools focus on one, maybe two types of learning styles.
So what are the alternatives? Well, there are private schools with expanded curriculum. Yet for us, by virtue of tuition, there’s the…Cost Of Tuition. How the heck do people afford it? And with more than one child? Though to me, the bigger cost of private education is limiting access to the demographic and socio-economic fabrics that make up our larger community. The ones we’ll turn them loose on in twelve years, expecting them to live and work together.
There’s public and private magnet schools, but goodness, so many Labels and compartmentalization and boxing like “the math kid” or the “health careers kid” or the “performing arts kid”. I was lucky (that’s not the right word), to have been labeled Gifted from an early age. (Clearly, somebody screwed up!) I say “lucky” because I have been witness to kids being treated differently depending on if they are “regulars” students or “honors” students. Though I can’t quote directly, I do know there are studies that prove this to be true. In my experience, it meant that I was encouraged to think freely, more easily forgiven when I didn’t conform, and given more say in what courses I took. The very type of individualization that would be beneficial to so many, but is often limited to not enough. Gifted kids are excused their ‘genius’ when the same actions by an underperformer merely gets them labeled as trouble. That kinda didn’t have anything to do with magnet schools, but I’m thinking out loud here anyway.
Oh, and homeschooling. At its best, kids get immersed in their environment and learning is a natural process with appropriate amounts of structure and double doses of discipline from both the parent and child to make it work. Backers say kids are smarter, do better in college, and know better how to deal with all kinds of people and situations. Detractors say they don’t get socialized appropriately or that the parents are granola wackos and religious extremists. With unlimited financial resources, and should I notice either of my children to have learning styles that don’t correlate with the more traditional auditory learning and/or reading/writing preference-learning, we’d lean more towards the option of homeschooling rather than the current local public school system. And I consider myself pretty middle of the road.
Speaking of which, being that our kids are ONLY SIXTEEN MONTHS OLD, our ‘middle of the road’ will be Montessori school, probably entering sometime between 18-24 months. At this age, with two working parents, we’re still in a situation where we have to pay for childcare, so I’m less inclined to get worked up about shelling out money for ‘schooling’ at this time. We like Montessori because it fosters self-directed learning, but still offers some structure. And more importantly, encourages independence, respectful treatment of others, and integration as respected individuals in the environment in which they live, and PLAY. It’s a lot of work and a lot more messy, but we strive to do things in a “Montessori way” at home, too. Once we hit Kindergarten or 1st grade age, I’m not sure what we’ll do, or even what our finances will allow.
No matter which educational methodology we approach and ultimately choose, there are pros and cons to all of them. None of them are perfect. And we as parents have equal (if not more) responsibility to continue their education outside the walls of any school. I mean, I find it to be Jennifer’s and my responsibility to teach things like manners and learning that there is a world outside ourselves, and a sense of community, and spiritual development, and fostering self-confidence without self-absorption. I suppose in the end, we are required to do what’s best for us and our child(ren), studying them for their learning styles, getting involved with educators without becoming that parent. After all, we have to be the change we want to see. I just wish the process didn’t come with so damn many variables! And wait lists! And residential zoning requirements!
If your kids are young like mine, have you begun considering what’s important to you and what’s not as it relates to education? If you’ve hit the Kinder/1st grade era, what kind of environment are your kids in? What was your thought process? Are they thriving or have you had to tweak things? If you have older kids, say upper junior high or middle school, have you been pleased with your choices? Would you have done anything differently?



5 comments
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August 27, 2009 at 2:38 pm
Kathy
We just switched to homeschooling in our home. Our oldest daughter was entering middle school and was terrified. She was getting bullied in elementary school for being artsy and “different”. She loves Shakespeare, draws constantly, and is extremely intelligent and mature. The other kids didn’t get her and she paid for it. Our middle daughter is in 2nd grade now. She’s really smart but has a difficult time learning in the lecture/reading style of teaching. She has some ADHD symptoms and works better in a hands on 1-on-1 environment. Our youngest is just 7 months old and we’ve already started talking about homeschooling her. Our daughters are involved in Shakespeare Acting Classes once a week, Girl Scouts, Soccer, Church, playdates, community service, and time with family and cousins their age. We are a gay couple that is fairly middle of the road. We aren’t hyper conservative religious folk and we aren’t granola “wackos”. We just chose to school our children from home. We have montessori type materials for the 7 month old to learn from as she gets older. She use that method for our 2nd grader as well. It’s important to discuss these things early…so you get you and your partner on the exact same page before all of this jazz starts because once it does it’s like a snowball rolling down a hill FAST!
August 28, 2009 at 9:53 am
tammom
We’ve gone from awesome Montessori & private school schooling to homeschooling to horrid parochial schooling to public schooling – and neither myself nor my husband are completely happy with where we are now – but, the KIDS are, and that’s what fuels our choices. Montessori was wonderful for my 2 older girls, awful for my son (not structured enough). We lived in Utah for 7 years, so our desire to get them into a non-religious private school helped make the private school decision for us (not so many Lutherans in northern Utah). It was FABULOUS, again for my girls, not so for my son. We eventually pulled them all out and homeshcooled them for 9 months. Then, we moved back home to Texas, and enrolled them in a Catholic school – horrid, miserable results. After pulling the son out yet again (and the principal being fired), the girls and I talked and they wanted to go to the local public school. Mind you, my husband has a PhD in education, so whatever we did wasn’t going to make him happy – he wanted to homeschool all of them. Our son – off the charts – 99% on his SAT scores in first grace (he’s in 4th now), but very immature. He does exceptional being homeschooled by his dad because he gets to learn at his pace, with his style and has his dad all to himself for the school day. We live in podunk-ville in the Hill Country, so the school the girls attend is very, very small (20 in a graduating class is doing pretty good) — but, there are positives beyond that huge negative of “teaching to the TAKS test”. First, half of the school population is from a local children’s home (orphanage/foster group home), so they get the diversity that we craved in Utah. Second, they are very close to their teachers – hugs are not banned and they all see their teachers outside of school and have fun with them on a personal basis, which increases their positive attitudes towards the teaching & administrative staff immensely. Finally, they get to be with their local friends – which for girls, is ever-so iimportant. All of them have their own extracurricular activitities that they participate in – Cub scouts, Girl Scouts, art classes, music classes, church classes and cheer squad. Our oldest got the highest scores on the TAKS test in her grade last year, took art classes from a renowned artist during the summer and has just entered high school. Our middle daughter thrives in her music and wants to get involved in sports (though she’s the blondest brunette you’ve ever seen) – and is very close to earning her Bronze award in Girl Scouts. Our youngest daughter was on the A honor roll all year, and received a $200 check from a local community philanthropist for perfect attendance last year….and she’s being quite smug in her membership on her cheer squad team. Our son has learned about rockets and astrology, is currently learning Greek & Latin (his choice) and loves his scouting and church activities. We also host a science club for other homeschool boys that helps them get together and enjoy the sciences with a Professor in the sciences.
Long story short (HA!) – we had to do what we all could live with. It may not be the perfect choice in OUR eyes (as parents), but, we’re not the only ones who should make such a decision. My husband and I were both bored to tears in school, and we don’t want that for our kids. They are all extremely smart (ummm, perhaps two intelligent people should think more about pro-creating when IQs are way above normal), but they have learned to be smart in their own environments, while still being able to enjoy their educations, their friends, their teachers and expand their horizons beyond school. I think it’s more about the all-around education a parent gives a child … more than just school … that makes for success.
August 29, 2009 at 8:51 am
Kate
We don’t have kids yet, but I teach at a really large university…I teach both large group lectures as well as small groups of 8-14 students. Don’t know if this is of any help to you, but I can’t tell the difference….this might be because the college-bound kids from any educational setting tend to manage well at university. Most of my students come from secular public schools, but I’ve had some private school, many public Catholic school, and a few homeschooled (one of whom took such delight in making connections between seemingly disparate topics and sharing incredible tidbits of trivia – her classmates were dumbfounded by her, and loved her). So, maybe the key is really knowing the strengths and needs of each of your children and finding the right setting for them.
September 1, 2009 at 3:45 pm
Lisa
A play date with Mateo and Harper would be lots of fun. Seeing S&J with an older kid this weekend was really interesting and made me think I need to do more of that. Although, I will try to resist the urge to pick your brain about, umm… everything!
So this post sent me into a bit of a tizzy, but it has been building anyway. I’ve committed to figuring out preschool when S&J turn one. For elementary school, we have always planned on public school. Then last week I learned that kids as young as kindergartners can eat all kinds of junk food from the school cafeteria at lunch time and just debit their account. Are you kidding me? And we wonder why ADHD is an increasing problem. This has, of course, added to my consternation. Have you found good resources for evaluating all of the options out there besides going to all the schools themselves? I’m a little befuddled about where to start to get some solid information.
September 1, 2009 at 5:45 pm
Rachel @ RaJenCreation
@Lisa, HA! YOU can pick my brain anytime! We can have a whole conversation about the madness that is Schools In An Urban Area. Over margaritas. While the little ones play out back.